Decisions
I remember once when I was a kid I got a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle for Christmas. I was so excited. Every time I found the right place for a piece, I was so happy, but every time I got stuck, I hated it.
That’s what I’m feeling now. I have a jigsaw puzzle in front of me. I have thousands of pieces and need to decide where to put them. For every decision I make, a piece of puzzle is put in place. So for every different scenario, every different decision, I have a different picture. I have so many options, and its really scary to know that I’m the one that has to decide.
Last night some afs people came over and we all had a big talk. Luckily for me there was a guy who is bilingual, so he could translate things that I haven’t been able to say before. I now know how much my host family do appreciate me. We still have the big conflict over English vs. French though. At some points during our discussion I felt like everyone was looking down on me like I was a stubborn, selfish, narrow minded little girl. That was hard.
It made me reflect on every feeling or thought I’ve had about my host parents. For every time I felt belittled and victimised, was it really like that or was I just blowing things out of proportion like I now I tend to do? For every time I thought my host mum was harassing me into talking English, maybe she was just desperate to learn and didn’t mean to come across so dominating?
So this week before the big trip will probably go ok, except my host mum promised she wouldn’t ask for English, just see if I would start a conversation with her, (another decision: do I act selfish, or generous). The cruise will be a good way to relax. Then after I’ll just have to see what happens.
posted by a.m.y @ 9:35 AM
1 Comments:
Damn it, I wrote a comment that seems to have gone missing.
It pretty much said that use the cruise as an opportunity to think things through. You've said that you're now more aware of how appreciated you are, and that you're beginning to see both sides. Use the cruise as a chance to further develop this and think about how to resolve this.
Chances are you'll be travelling through English areas on the cruise. In which case services as an English French translator may well come in handy for your family. You'll feel appreciated if you do, and you can use this chance to speak both English and French to you family.
To that end, I'd say be generous with English. And do it first, it'll allow you to use French as well. But don't let a precedent be established, if you clarify when and how English will be used, then both of you will be happier.
If you've got any questions, just email me. I've got class to get back to.
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